Ego and My Perception of It

“We must walk a spiritual path. Ego must wear itself out like an old shoe, journeying from suffering to liberation.”

My Ego is not a worn-out shoe! To the contrary!

- Chögyam Trungpa

Well, I disagree!

I’m not wearing my ego out! 

Because my view of ego is different from most people’s.

Those of you who’ve been with me a while know that how I see ego is that, as human-beings-being-human, ego is the seat of all our emotions, while the rest of us is in the beingness of who we actually are.

I bring my ego with me, as we all do, but I bring mine knowing that it feels my deep love and compassion for it.  I regard mine as an integral part of me that is focused on my safety and protection, and being wary of anything that may compromise my safety. 

Most of us view ego as this arrogant narcissist ‘with an ego’.  We refer to those of us with this type of personality as egotistical.

Consider that perhaps we all have this type of self-important characteristic within us, but again, maybe this is still to do with safety.  Like a version of “I will keep myself safe at all costs”. So while thinking like this, it may mean I become self-centred and conceited; or at least, that’s how I come across.  And we all know people with this kind of unpleasant egotistical behaviour.  But I say that maybe, deep underneath, they’re grappling with safety fears they’ve still got sitting there.

Here’s my view of ego:

These days I truly understand what historically my ego has been doing.  The truth is it – she – has kept me safe for decades and I’m eternally grateful to her for that.  It has meant however that I have steered clear of situations that could maybe, possibly, compromise my safety, or caused me suffering. Instead of being egotistical, my ego has kept me being an avoider.  

Not everyone views ego like this.  Some view safety from the ego to mean ‘I am centred within my arrogance and this shows how untouchable and invulnerable I am.  This way I am safe.’  But consider that maybe they’re not actually feeling safe.

A few years ago, I learnt to view my ego differently from most.  She and I are now an amazing team.  She has worked so hard for me all these years, and I now feel extraordinary gratitude for all her hard work. 

But she and I together have gone down a unique and separate path.

I no longer see vulnerability as a reason to retreat.  She and I understand now that there are two types of vulnerability: (i) the usual one we think of associated with weakness, but that (ii) there is also a vulnerability linked with strength.  This is different from empowerment because we acknowledge we are still facing a vulnerable situation, but we trust ourselves in a way that she and I haven’t been able to before.  So we don’t feel fearful about the vulnerability or the unknown.  It’s OK.  They are paths untravelled, but the vulnerabilities are OK.

Now this trust between us leads to empowerment.

(See more in my blogs about pivoting for more explanations about this).

I now treat my ego with compassion, acceptance, love and gratitude.  Recently I’ve thanked my ego many times when firstly I’ve moved to this position where now I am an observer of my emotions, and secondly I’ve become aware of what my ego wants to feel. 

This means that thirdly, as I put myself in the mind-space, body-space, heart-space that gives me clarity to see what my ego and I are doing, now from this perspective I choose how I feel.

And the understanding I get is mind-freeing. These days Ego and I understand from a different mind-perspective.

This is liberation. My ego as my emotion centre is liberated with me. 

Which means on this journey she is no worn-out shoe!  She is free to grow and keep learning on the path of unknowns as I am.

We’re a team – a very loving, grateful, non-suffering and liberated team.

And she is as fresh as a daisy on this new path!